The Anna bash-a-boo club. This is a popular club. We, as upstanding pillars of the community, love these kinds of clubs. You know, it’s where one secretly admires (jealousy) another but won’t admit it.

All it takes is one blond Russian-not to be confused with a white or black Russian--shake well, and bash.

These club members, to show that they’re not jeal…ahem…admiring, will lash out and do whatever it takes to lower that object of desire, which is exactly what Anna Kournikova has become. I didn’t say sex object. A person can be an object of desire without the intention being disrespected. How Anna is respected I’ll leave it up to you.

Now that there is a (strong quotation marks here) “legitimate” reason-insert Maria Sharapova-the bashing is in full force. I mean, you’d think she just beat Anna herself the way everyone used the ole’ juxtapostion angle, even before Sharapova could stop kissing her Wimbledon trophy.

What is funny is the fact that Kournikova wasn’t anywhere near Wimbledon, or England for that matter. Was she?

And it’s not just Anna. People, mostly media, have been turning on Tiger Woods as well. Why? Well…um…he hasn’t won his ninth major yet, I guess. Ninth--ninth major tournament on the professional golf tour. He hasn’t won his Ninth major yet. What a shame, the bum.

Lets go back to Anna. I knew you were waiting for that.

She is a good tennis player.

As of May, 2003, Kournikova was ranked 70th in the world in singles, 29th in doubles play. In 2000, she finished 8th in singles; in 1999 and 1998, she finished in the top 15.

In 1999, she ranked No.1 in the world while paired with Martina Hingis. From 1998-2000, she finished in the top ten. Excuses aside, at 23 years of age, back problems have sidelined her and may end her career.

To what degree is she good? That’s arguable but how many tennis players would kill for a top 100 ranking? And that’s out of at least 400 professional athletes. But they talk about her as if she’s not good enough for college, let alone the professional tour.

Yes, I’m sticking up for her because that’s the kind of guy I am. And yes, I do like looking at her, fantasies and all. And lets be brutally honest here, how many women look with lust as well? And I’m not talking lesbian.

I think Kournikova has that kind of appeal. She wears her outfits like the Mona Lisa smile but without the mystery.

Maria Sharapova, just to compare looks because everyone else seems to while throwing tennis in there just as an excuse, is pretty, beautiful and even sexy. But Kournikova is all of those and not just sexy, she is SEXY. She exudes sex appeal. She’s one of those public figures that attracts lightning. Why can’t people just admit it?

I also like the underdog, which she has obviously become.

I would love to see her win one major tennis tournament then watch all the analysts and media gush over her and tell us how happy they are for her. “Gee, we’ve been waiting for you Anna.”

Lets face it, in this day and age, people are having a hard time with competition. This trash talking, in-your-face bravado, is getting tiresome. It’s in full force on the Internet’s sports message boards.

This is where people can hide behind their computers and feel good about themselves for doing absolutely nothing to the other person. But they sure as Sharapova know how to bash someone for looking good.

People can’t stand someone being better than them, or getting something they want but can’t, or won’t have the guts to go after. And they especially can’t stomach someone looking better. And Anna looks…well…she looks baby.

Sharapova is sweet looking so we can feel good over that and talk nicey, nicey about her; anna is sexy. She is a threat. She’s to be attacked for apparently trying to lure millions of husbands out of happy home, or something like that.

Then again, maybe it’s about the money. It does strange things to people. Kournikova makes a ton of cash for looking the way she does and gets equally bashed for that also. Her winnings on the pro tour are walking around change compared to her endorsement money.

I’m sure her sassy ways does allow for her to bring a few things on herself. But what’s she supposed to do, turn it down? Apologize for looking the way she does?

The plain fact is, when it comes to money, other than good looks, when you make more than the average person, all of a sudden, you become less human. “Those” people become less loveable.

Lets hope Tiger Woods can win another major so as to satisfy, not his expectations, but the media’s, who have this knack of manipulating the public into thinking what they think they want.

Maria Sharapova may have the “firepower to ignite a sport” as one website suggested but you can bet it’s partly based on looks as well. Anna Kournikova is a tennis player making bundles on the way she looks. Well, I’m looking to. I know you are.

Filed by J.D. Long